In John Donne's "The Flea" is he 1. comparing the flea bites on both him and his partner to the lack of their sexual relations? 2. And is he implying that her performing these sexual acts is "not a big deal?"
1. "Me it sucked first, and now sucks thee, And in this flea our two bloods mingled be"
I think Donne says this to his partner because he believes the flea sucking both of their bloods has taken their partnership into a deeper connection leading to his thoughts that this should take their relationship to the next level and that it is now okay to have sexual relations with him.
Donne also says "And this, alas, is more than we would do" justifying his thoughts on the flea connecting their relationship even more.
2. "Thou know'st that this cannot be said A sin, or shame, or loss of maidenhead"
This is the part where I feel like Donne is implying he doesn't believe these sexual acts are as big of a deal as his partner. She seems resistant but he thinks doing this would cause her no "shame" and that she would not be sinning.